I am dying to know the answer now…


     Of the two blogs I run, this one gets the fewest spam comments.  I read every spam comment I receive because sometimes a legitimate comment or trackback gets sent to the wrong folder.  The vast majority, however, get deleted and rightfully so.  Those intrepid commenters have something to sell – or to steal, in the case of phishing redirect links.

     While browsing WordPress the other day, I found ThingsThatNeedToDie.com which has chosen to handle spam by posting it in its own category.  I think that is a brilliant idea as well as a fitting tribute to our industrious spammers. 

     Meanwhile, I have decided to dedicate this post to the most recent piece of junk mail I received.  Such comments fall squarely into the category of fiction, because they are not at all based in reality.  More so on my veterinary blog, comments will reference a godsend of a post, sure to cure all who read it.  I know the commenter did not pay careful attention to my words.  The giveaway?  The comment is directed at a post called “Merry Christmas.”

     Here, for your amusement, is a gushing spam comment directed at my What Is SAS Fiction page (links in the comment have been removed for your safety):

Your post is very useful. Thank you so much for providing plenty of useful content.Thanks a lot for sharing these information. The post has also helped a lot. Look forward to your next post Your blog is very useful. Thank you so much for providing plenty of useful content. I have bookmark your blog site and will be without doubt coming back. Once again, I appreciate all your work and also providing a lot vital tricks for your readers.
Thanks for the great idea you have post. I’ll wait for another info which will you share. redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted i found it very interesting and at the same time very informative i will definitely bookmark this site for future reference…
I leave a lot of comments on a lot of blogs each week – but there is one situation where I rarely leave a comment – even if the post deserves it.Good work

(from zenithink)

     Getting back to the title of this post, I am dying to know the answer now refers to the cryptic message at the end:  I leave a lot of comments on a lot of blogs each week – but there is one situation where I rarely leave a comment – even if the post deserves it.

     Do you see?  Do you see what Zenithink did there?  What in the world is the one situation in which he/she rarely leaves a comment??? even if the post deserves it???  MUST…HAVE…ANSWER. 

     Zenithink is a spammer.  He/she has something to sell, and I don’t buy the notion that ol’ Zeni has standards when it comes to spamming a blog.  I therefore have to wonder if Zeni’s ploy is to draw me into a discussion, for instance –

Me:  Oh, Zeni, you little minx, you!  Thank you for the raves!  But what, pray tell, would keep you from posting a comment on someone’s page?  I simply must know!

Zenithink:  You are good writer.  I admires it very greatly.  I can give you all answers you looking ofr.  Please tell me your bank account number and I will deposit the answer there.  Also, pin number and a credit card to verify you are who you claim.

Me:  Absolutely!  I am dying to know under what circumstance you rarely leave a comment, even if the post deserves it, and I would give anything – up to and including my personal banking information – to find out!

Zenithink:  That’s all I ask.


So I ask you, fellow bloggers,  What is the most flattering piece of spam you’ve ever received?  And don’t you feel just a bit guilty sending the spammers to the trash when they’ve worked so hard to craft a comment that has absolutely nothing to do with your post?  Tell me about it!  –  Jen


About SAS Fiction Girl

Writer of short fiction because I don't have the attention span to write anything longer.
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25 Responses to I am dying to know the answer now…

  1. joanna says:

    lol! Funny!!

  2. Cities of the Mind says:

    I like the way you write, and I like the way you think. That was easily the most entertaining fake conversation with a spammer I’ve recently read. I’m resisting the urge to add something on the end to make you wonder if this is also a spam comment.

    • Sweet! Thank you for stopping by my little blog. 🙂 Your excellent use of correct grammar and spelling gave you away as “not spam.” Also, you failed to link to any Gucci knockoff sites. Better luck next time. Now I am off to stalk your blog because your gravatar intrigues me. – Jen

      • Cities of the Mind says:

        No problem I expect I’ll be stopping by again! Oh, and guess what piece of spam I found waiting for me in my inbox this morning?

      • Wait – Zeni sent the same thing to you? You mean it wasn’t special just for me? I’m going to have some choice words for that guy/girl when he/she writes back!

      • Cities of the Mind says:

        Yup! I guess he really does leave a lot of comments on a lot of blogs every week. I wonder if he can really get me that widescreen Android, too?

  3. gnxmusic says:

    I know how you feel with the spam. I have one website with over 4000 comments awaiting moderation 3990 are most like spam. Like your self i like to go through because the actual feedback I do get is so important to the growth of my site. Save the SPAM for the cans.

    • Wow! I cannot imagine wading through 4000 comments. I can seriously imagine finding anything else to do besides going through them. Heck, I don’t like to clean out my e-mail when there are 25 messages waiting. Thank you for stopping by and for commenting. 🙂 -Jen

  4. jannatwrites says:

    I had a few comments on my last post that I wasn’t sure about, but I went ahead and approved them anyway. I’ve never received such flattering spam. Mine is usually a vague-ish single sentence that makes me wonder if it is or isn’t.

    Be sure to give them your SSN and birthdate to ensure that you get the answer, okay?

    • Oh! Birthdate! I hadn’t even thought of that. Yes, they can do so much more once the final piece of the puzzle is in place. Meanwhile, Janna, don’t fret. The quality of spam you receive is in no way indicative of the quality of your writing. It just means the bowing-and-scraping spammers haven’t made it to your doorstep yet. Give it time, though. Give it time. 🙂 -Jen

  5. Hi Jen, it was very funny to have found your blog and then read this post that seems too long for a person with a short attention span. I will now read your definition of SAS Fiction and hope I understand what you mean…

    About the spam, the most flattering piece of spam I’ve received is the one offering me to enlarge my penis or sell me viagra. Not only shows they care about my penis, but also shows they know I’m limp and old. You are right: I can see how it would be very useful to publish my spam and advertise I have a small limp penis.

  6. Ugg says:

    This actually answered my downside, thank you!

  7. By far, this post has been the most popular with spammers. They have either a great sense of humor or no sense of irony. I don’t know which. However, I will continue to post their entertaining responses to this entry because I like it.

  8. Today I read some very interesting article. Its Ur article. Thanks

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  10. Evelyn says:

    I haven’t started my blog YET, but I manage my boss’s video blog sites. He gets the weirdest posts. All of his blogs are Christian in nature . . . answers to questions like “How can there be just one true religion?” I’m currently cleaning up 750 spam posts to his blogs. One of them is from a spammer named “Vivian Minot” (I’m sure it’s not her real name as the tag includes “how to choose your Jamaican vacation”) . . . She posted, “It was like 87 (?) something that didn’t vote?” Huh? And then there’s “Lia” who posted (also on the “How can there be just one true religion?” blog) . . . “Substantially, the post is actually the sweetest topic on curing acne naturally. I concur with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your future updates.”
    I’ll have to watch/listen to the video blog again . . . apparently this acne cure is a sweet liquid concoction . . . I can’t believe I missed it. Pastor Nate’s been holding out on me.

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